ASK THE CARNY
O.K. kids! This is what you've all been waitin' for. Cletus is here to answer all your questions about the carny and trailer trash way of life. Now all y'all have to do is email your question to me at , and I'll do my best to answer it.
Who's Your Daddy?
Dear Cletus:
I recently got knocked up by this guy named Dwayne and seein' hows I don't know his last name and all or where he parks his trailer, I was wonderin' hows I might find the guy to let him know he's gonna be a daddy? I met him at this roadside bar a whiles back but haven't seen him since. Maybe he's a trucker. Well, I gots to get to the diner for my shift. Let me know what youin's think I should do.
See Ya'll Soon,
Ellymae from Bucks Snout, Arkansas
Ellymae, I shouldn't be tellin' you how to find this man because it would violate the carny code. But, since you don't know me and I don't know you, I'll make an exception and I'll tell you how my grandma found the man who knocked her up when she was still dancin' at the strip club.
First, you'll need to gather the followin' ingredients: the nose of a hound dog, oil of skunk, moss scraped from the bark of a dead oak tree, catfish guts and lastly, grandma liked to use little nutmeg for flavor.
Next, on the night of the full moon, gather all the ingredients and put them into a burlap sack. Put the sack into a pot of boiling water for ten minutes and brew it into a tea.
Finally, you drink the tea, then bury the sack on the north side of your house and wait. Before the following full moon, Dwayne should be knockin' on your door. Unless... You know what? That might have been grandma's home made laxative recipe -- I can't quite remember. Oh well, good luck findin' your man.
