ASK THE CARNY
O.K. kids! This is what you've all been waitin' for. Cletus is here to answer all your questions about the carny and trailer trash way of life. Now all y'all have to do is email your question to me at , and I'll do my best to answer it.
Drunk Driving Test?
Dear Cletus:
I done got popped again for drivin' while under the influence; and the judge told me the next time it happens I'll be servin' some serious jail time. Now I'll be damned if'n I'll quits the drinkin' just because some judge has ordered me to, but I doesn't want to go to jail either. So I was hopin' you had some way or test that you could tell me about that would let me know I'm safe to drive.
Sincerely,
L.J.
L.J., You're preachin' to the choir on this one. And guess what? I gots a test I came up with at a party some time back that I use to test my own drunkeness. Now folks, this test is for the men only. All you gots to do is when you have to take a piss, just try to aim through the toilet seat without hitting or splashing anything. If'n you can, there is no doubt you are safe to drive. Sorry ladies, but for some reason, I just haven't been able to pass that test yet.
