ASK THE CARNY
O.K. kids! This is what you've all been waitin' for. Cletus is here to answer all your questions about the carny and trailer trash way of life. Now all y'all have to do is email your question to me at , and I'll do my best to answer it.
Cletus, You're A Liar?
Dear Cletus:
I read the answer you gave to the boy who wrote to you asking if you could speak at his career day and I thought it was all made up. There is no way you, a carny, are speaking to corporate people around the country. And even if it was true, what could you possibly have to say to such important people? No sir, I just cannot believe it.
Sincerely,
Wesley
Wesley, you better not be callin' me a liar. You see, I'm a talker and I talks all 'round the country. Not only that, but I can count some very important people as followers of Cletus and the carny way. Hows about these names: Bill Gates, John Gotti and George Bush Sr., to name a few.
So what do I talk about to such big important people? Here's one I'll give y'all for free--negotiating the carny way. For example, y'all are makin' a deal, but you don't like how it's goin'. Whadda you do? Well I'll tell you. First, you spit some tobbaca juice in the other guy's eye. Then, you sweep his legs from under him and then place that there man, or woman as the case may be, into a submission hold. Now Cletus prefers using the Camel Clutch, which was made famous by the Sheik. But I have seen Ford people use the El Garfio when negotiating with suppliers. Use whatever hold you like. But whatever you do, don't use a sleeper hold because it's 'bout impossible to get a contract to hold up in court that was signed by someone who's passed out cold.
Now Wesley, you answer me. Do you think MicroSoft would have gotten where it is without doin' things the carny way?
