O.K. kids! This is what you've all been waitin' for. Cletus is here to answer all your questions about the carny and trailer trash way of life. Now all y'all have to do is email your question to me at , and I'll do my best to answer it.

Kidnapped by Aliens from Outer Space!

Dear Cletus:

My girlfriend and I was out drivin' a few weeks ago when we was kidnapped by aliens from outer space. They went and took us up to their space ship where they probed us from the frontside; they probed us from the backside; they damn near probed us from every-which-side. And let me tell you, it hurt like a sonofabitch. After I don't how much probing, them aliens let us go. Now my girlfiend tells me she's pregnant and wants to get married. I just knows it's an alien baby. Cletus, she'll listen to you. What do you say?


Buzz, I once told a girlfiend the same thing and all I got was a court order to pay child support. Those damn lousy aliens used my own seed... They used MY OWN SEED! So you see, you weren't just probed by them there aliens... You was screwed!